Sleepless Nights..

I should either be sleeping or studying for my final today right now but I’ve decided to write on my blog instead.. Aww yea blog yea! Haha I’m really out of it and I’ve been out of it the past couple of days. I guess that’s the price you pay for procrastinating waay too much and pulling all nighters to make up for the wasted time. I really don’t know the purpose of this post but I just wanted to get the point across that I’m really tired and that I’m not myself right now haha..

Thoughts on the day

Hey guys, whats up! I feel like I’ve been posting a lot more often and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not o_0.. haha I doubt I can consistently post this often so I guess it’s an on and off thing. I hope everybody is surviving finals weeks the worst two week stretch of college.  For those of you who are struggling, just find some time to relax and relieve your stress in the midst of all these hectic and busy schedules. For me, this week has been the all nighter week haha. I’ve been trying to study all day and night and while at first it was going extremely well, I’m now starting to lose focus and lose sight of what I’m trying to achieve. I guess the quick lesson I learned is that how hard you work is the result of your motivation and how authentic and genuine that motivation is. If you’re goal is to just get an A in that class, you’re motivation could die down fast like how mine did.. The key I guess is to realize that all this studying contributes to your future and that you glorify God in everything you do.. But in real talk, that might be probably in the back of my mind so.. haha.. it shouldn’t be though haha! Anyways, I hope you guys are all trying your bests and keeping your chins up! Good luck and God bless

Ideal?

Double Post today! Haha I guess I’m just not ready to start studying again so I’ll just write more. Based on my previous post about how you will eventually meet your perfect person provided by God, I thought to myself of my what my ideal girl would be. Haha I know this is kinda childish (or is it..?) but it seems fun since I don’t have a set list already of the characteristics I consider ideal. I guess I’ll find out as I write

1)  My ideal girl would be someone who laughs alot. This is important to me because I want a girl who is able to be cheery and never ‘down in the dumps’ to often.

2) My ideal girl would be someone care free in a sense, and confident. I just find girls who are able to rock the sweat pants, t-shirt or camis and having their hair tied up with minimal makeup up so so soooo attractive. This shows that their confident in their appearance and that they don’t really care what others think about the way their dressed because they know that when they actually try to dress up they stand out from like a mile away. This isn’t the same as being cocky by the way, it’s more like silent confidence.

3) My ideal girl would be outgoing. What I mean by outgoing is a girl who isn’t too shy or doesn’t get caught up wondering if that guy likes her or not. If she likes him, shes straight up about it and lets that guy know that too. If the guy doesn’t make his move after she let him know, she could care less because its his loss.

4) My ideal girl would be a devoted Christian who lives life for Christ. To me, this is the most important trait in a girl for me. We all go through our ups and downs in life and I want a girl who is able to keep me strong during those times while I do my best for her too.

5) My ideal girl would be ambitious and non superficial. I want a girl who absolutely refuses to be a house wife because she knows she can do so much more than that. I also want a girl who talks less about the latest fashion, or celerity gossip and more about the toughest part of her day, what made her happy today, and what really got her thinking. I’d rather much listen to and respond to those things than “OMG those new shoes” or “OMG they broke up”

6) Last and maybe least haha I would like a girl who is pretty.. HAHA that sounds so shallow but all girls are pretty in different ways and I would like my girl to be pretty in a way that I find attractive

 

Thoughts..

I just need an outlet to relieve some pressure of studying so I guess my blog comes in handy..

So the past 4 day I’ve stayed up the entire night either just playing or studying and I don’t plan on stopping.. I just have so much to do and study now that finals are here and everyday/night I study, the more and more I realize how much I am behind in all my classes. Its really been stressful but all I can do is put my trust in God and not worry about things such as failing, struggling and what not. Speaking of trust in God and abandoning all our insignificant worries, I learned a couple of new things about college girls.. I guess the most shocking thing that came at me was that many girls starting from as early as their first years in college are quite concerned about marriage already. When I heard this I really had a ‘…’ moment in my head.. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t be the one to judge because 1) I’m a guy so I have no idea how the complex mind of women work.. and 2) there are probably girls who don’t think this way and really not worry about it until a couple of years down. I just want to say, regarding this thought, to all the girls not to worry about meeting that perfect person already because God’s already scheduled all of you an appointment with him. I think marriage is one of those worries we have that we make out to be monumental, but in God’s eyes is insignificant because he’s already taking care of it as we speak. So all I can say is.. have faith! Just enjoy the ride without worries as your world shakes you and takes you to the guy who is perfect for you.

Who am I?

Hmm...

It’s been another long time since I’ve blogged and in actuality, right now is not exactly the best time to be posting one up because I have so much to study for finals haha. The reason why I’m writing one right now is because I posted my facebook status as “it’s easy to entertain others but it’s hard to let others know of the real me” and the status I wrote is something that has really been on my mind lately. Thankfully my friend Isaac Kim suggested a great idea to write about it in my blog where I can get more personal and open to everyone rather than I guess on facebook. So here’s my thoughts on the day or I should say days recently..

This thought of how difficult it is to let people know the REAL you actually has been on my mind since the start of college. When you try to make new friends, you want to be liked and someone easy to get along with. It’s almost like I traded my real self for a generic, easily liked self that I created or as I like to put it, masks. I realized that I create masks to protect myself from I guess being open and real with people I meet or friends that I’m not like super duper close with. It’s weird because I dislike the feeling of being very open and personal because I feel vulnerable but at the same time I want the whole world to know who I REALLY am and not judge me based on my actions and appearance to them. I guess most of you who read this know me as the guy who acts strange, gets loud, and tries to be funny outside a couple of my closest friends who have been able to see me slowly reveal myself throughout the years. My closest friends know me as the guy who is not as loud as he acts, who would much rather talk about the more personal aspects of what’s going on in our lives rather than silly things like gossip or trying to be funny, and who is a bit more soft spoken haha instead of getting loud and too overly exuberant when talking with others. Anyways, I guess I have to make more of an effort to be more open, to not be afraid of what people think of me by being more open and simply just myself. God created me in his own image both inside and out and therefore I shouldn’t have to carry around the masks I’ve worn so often.

Thanksgiving..

Finally thanksgiving break is here. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for quite a while now but now that it’s here it hasn’t been that great. If anything, it’s been pretty bad… I have a lot of work to do, I have yet to meet many of my friends, and my girlfriend and I broke up.. In fact it’s been one of the worst couple of days I’ve had this year.. But as I had these thoughts going through my head, I remembered Sunday’s sermon (at my home-church KCPC ) about how we should be thankful for the things we have and that God always provides us with what we NEED. I guess what I’m trying to tie together is that even though things aren’t going the way I’d like to in my life, I shouldn’t dwell on these things and wish that my life was different or better. I have enough because God has provided me with all I could ever need… So in spirit of thanksgiving, here is a top 3 list of what I am thankful for this thanksgiving

1. My friends and family’s health, everybody has been healthy so what more could I ask for?

2. A good transition from high school to college: I’m not gonna lie but college has really been tough and my grades have not been as good as I wanted them to be. However, I’m thankful that I’m not struggling as I hear most first years do during their first semester.

3. The people I’ve met at college: They say the friends you make at college are the ones that last you a lifetime and after meeting the people I have, I really hope that’s true. God’s led me to meet some amazing people and some of whom are already close friends of mine. I can only hope to grow closer with some of these people and really be able to call them my best friends.

Back blogging.. and servants retreat

Wow, it’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged on my blog. I’ve been wanting to use this blog as a journal to sort of share my experiences but I feel like it’s kind of failed already in that aspect. I’ve had so many things go on that I haven’t really blogged about or shared and I want to make more of an effort to do it again. Anyways I guess the biggest thing that has happened to me this past month has been the servants retreat I just came back from yesterday. And the funny thing is that I was so close to have not gone to this retreat. The reason why was because I simply didn’t want to go.. I had no idea what this retreat would have in store for me and thought that it would distract me from schoolwork. The only reason why I decided to go last minute was because I didn’t want to miss out on what almost all my friends were doing by going to the retreat. Looking back I had the same heart going into this retreat as I had with all my past retreats; I just wanted to be with my friends. But this retreat was different.. the speaker captivated my attention; I was able to relate to what he was saying; I came out of this retreat with a completely new heart given to me by God, something only he can do. The last night of retreat was when I saw the fruits of His work come all together as we had a crowd of 350 people all gather together as one giving our hearts to God, praising his name, and just blessing one another through prayer. It’s experiences like these, learning more about God and taking a step closer to Him that life is really all about. I’ve heard so many metaphors and analogies as to what life may be such as a game, a journey, a quest and what not. But in my opinion, life is an opportunity, a chance that not many of us have. Most of my friends and I really don’t look past what we see in northern Virginia and all the riches we have as being one of the richest areas in the world. We take so much for granted in our life which is unfortunate because we have so many resources to use our lives to help others who are not as fortunate as us. Life is an opportunity to learn more about God and to get as close as we can to him because we only have one life to do that. It’s also our responsibility to give others that same opportunity by being role models in society and letting people know who we are as followers of Christ and why we follow the Greatest. The one thing that’s stuck with me throughout retreat and hopefully throughout my life is that water analogy Pastor Oscar Brooks spoke to us about. All of us Christians who really do the minimum such as just going to church on the weekends and showing up for large group are ankle deep in water (like me). We all see God calling out to us to come closer to him where he is standing meters away. But we’re scared to go deeper because we’re comfortable being ankle deep and having all of our worldly possessions on the dry side of land. When we DO make that choice to go deeper to reach where God is standing though, we leave everything behind because we genuinely want to get closer. However, when we take the couple of steps and reach the spot where he was calling out to us, God is gone and when we look up he’s another hundred meters away calling out to us come closer again. God’s gonna keep doing that to us where we’re going to have to keep taking steps until we finally reach where he really wants us. God doesn’t want us just waist deep in the water; he wants us completely submerged and let the currents take us to where he plans for us to be. Just as how its a struggle to be completely submerged in rough waters, it’s not going to be easy. But once we take that deep breath, close our eyes, and just jump into that deep end running/swimming towards him, he’ll bless us beyond our imaginations.